Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Respite from Rage. #atozchallenge - care for the carers

Two days after her 73rd birthday my Mum took her final breath. She had Alzheimers and Motor neurone disease. For her final 3 months I was her main carer. A privilege I am grateful for and will cherish forever. This years #atozchallenge theme will focus on being a carer / care-giver.

Remember to care for the carers.  

Respite from Rage.










Like many carers I was sensitive to the needs of my mother because I am sensitive.   

My heart rules my head. I am also not always easy to get along with. My head is a radar for out of control ego's. My face can't hide what I'm feeling. When I'm under attack my fangs always hit their mark. I have spent most of my life learning how to be social and nice to people, but I haven't mastered it with people that aren't nice to me...I'm really bad at it. When my rage is unleashed, I can easily be the nastiest. 


I am lucky to have a few close friends. One of them lived very close by to my parents and reserved a constant space for me, in her heart and her home. Her worries and responsibilities were far greater than mine, but still she offered me a place to rest.  

Respite from the relentless routine...of death and dying.

Replenish, Rejuvenate. Time to repair the rage.

Ride horsey together...

Here's a 'Miranda sings,' video my niece introduced me too about how to get a girl friend.

I really wouldn't have managed without my girlfriends constant support, late night phone calls, the occasional night out, and that 'ABBA' concert in the park. Singing old 70's songs outside with a bunch of strangers cures just about any affliction, even rage.  




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5 comments:

  1. Hi Ida - I'd fall into your category I think!! However .. I do believe that others should look at what we're dealing with and think of it from our side of the fence ... my uncle turned round to me some years after his wife had died, and I was round seeing him very often and generally in the end taking care of him too ... "I hadn't realised how difficult it was coping on one's own" - ie being unmarried as I was .. yet dealing with all things.

    You overseas with your husband in Denmark cannot have helped your cause and thank goodness for your friend ... I found a great friend up at the Nursing Centre ... as her father died up there .. and we've remained friends since and she supported me with my hip operation ...

    We learn though ... cheers Hilary

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    1. I remember someone complaining they hadn't seen their husband all week... (even though they there were both home everyday) I didn't bother reminding them it was likely to be months before I saw The Captain again... Some of us learn quicker than others

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  2. I'd fall under some of the same category- I've got a couple of sisters I haven't spoken to in years, and don't see that changing anytime soon.

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    1. I've heard many people say they lost siblings at the same time one or both of their parents died... Sibling rivalry is fast becoming an interesting subject for me....

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  3. I don't believe close friends are measured by the amount of years we know them... and some friendships are born out of situations that can chance upon us suddenly.

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